Trying to Conceive After Removal of Fallopian Tubes
TW: Ectopic pregnancy, fertility struggles, pregnancy loss, pregnancy trauma, IVF, Perinatal anxiety and depression.
moode sat down with Lauren (35), from Tweed Heads, NSW – wife to Tom and mum to two adorable groms – Atlas (6), and Lakey (2).
"To be honest, I can't really remember what life was like before my fertility struggles started. I don't mean to sound depressing but it's just a fact. It's been almost 13 years since I first experienced a pregnancy loss, so the rollercoaster of infertility has been a massive part of my life for a while."
I was very blessed with an uncomplicated pregnancy and birth with my first born, Atlas, which lulled me into a false sense of security for a short time. Little did I know what a miracle that isolated experience was, and I'm forever grateful for it.
Medical system trauma
My fertility journey was hugely impacted by a lack of trust in my own body and my intuition during my 20's. Obviously we have a wonderful medical system here in Australia, and there are some truly amazing doctors and medical professionals that I am forever grateful for. However doctors are still human beings, with egos and the ability to make errors and lapses in judgement.
Looking back, I know that if I had more confidence in myself to speak up, and a greater ability to think critically, I would have landed in a very different place.
Back in 2019, when my oldest was just 1 year old, I experienced two consecutive ectopic pregnancies which resulted in bilateral salpingectomy (removal of both fallopian tubes). The first ectopic rupture was obviously an unpleasant experience, but the tube removal procedure was straight forward, my doctor was incredibly supportive and educated me in every way possible. The healing journey was also fast.
Spotting an ectopic pregnancy
My second experience looked nothing like this. I had a false sense of security and trust in my second doctor after having such a positive experience the first time. Looking back I also didn't have the self confidence to voice my concerns or critically analyse the situation. Often, someone who has experienced an ectopic rupture in the past can quickly identify if it's happening again, and there are procedures (such as a methotrexate injection) to quickly remove the pregnancy before damage is done to the remaining tube. Unfortunately the doctor on shift during my second ectopic pregnancy was not as receptive of my self-diagnosis; that my last remaining tube was about to rupture. She made me feel overdramatic for requesting the methotrexate injection, and recommended I hold off treatment because I didn't seem to be in the amount of pain usually observed in someone having an ectopic rupture.
Spoiler alert, my last remaining tube ruptured the next day, which in hindsight was the only possible outcome without intervention.
My advice? Don't wait for someone who will listen. Make THAT person listen, and don't underestimate how well you know your own body. You may spend the rest of your life looking back at that moment, realising it was one of the most critical decisions you ever made. For me, that one decision to accept that I MUST be wrong and she MUST be right, was the beginning of a long and life-changing IVF journey to get my daughter Lakey…
How did you support yourself when trying to conceive?
Yoga was a huge part of my life during the years I spent going through IVF. The journey has a way of taking hold of your life in every way, so everything you do ends up being for the end goal of having that baby. What you eat. What you put on your skin. Even the media you expose yourself to, it's all consuming. Perhaps I'd be a better source of "what not to do" rather than "what to do".
As someone who has gone through this and come out the other side, my advice would be to keep it simple. Move, breathe in fresh air, get sun on your skin, take a good pregnancy-safe multi-vitamin and eat clean.
How did your fertility experience impact your relationships?
I feel pretty lucky that my experience didn't impact my relationships too much. At some of the lower points, I did jump off social media for a month or two for my own mental health. There were definitely times where I felt like if I heard one more pregnancy announcement, it might send me over the edge! I also had to be mindful of where I spent my energy and became far less social than I was before this journey started. But I am so lucky to have a solid crew of friends, who were there when I needed them but were equally as happy to give me space when I needed it.
How did your experience/s impact your mental health?
My mental health is something I'm still learning to manage, the cloud hasn't quite lifted yet and there is still a lot of trauma I struggle to shake. I never realised that PND was something that can linger over a number of years, so my advice to anyone experiencing post natal depression would be to get help sooner rather than later. Be proactive, and don't wait for it to "disappear". Support your body in every way possible, optimise your nutrition and prioritise exercise and time outdoors. If you can maintain these important foundations while working with a professional to dig your way out of the darkness, you will hopefully find your way out of the fog a bit quicker than I did.
What do you wish women knew about their reproductive health, before going through the experiences themselves?
I will preach until the day I die that we are all responsible for making decisions about our own bodies, and we need to reach for that inner wisdom and confidence when critical decisions need to be made. Even if that means questioning the professionals who are in these situations every day; if something doesn't quite sit right, ask more questions…push for answers. Overreact in favour of underreacting. It's your future and your fertility at stake, not theirs.
It's so easy to take fertility for granted, I've made that mistake in the past myself. A healthy, fertile body is such a gift, so find the joy in laying these foundations, eat mindfully for fertility, take pleasure in time outside under the sun and move your body daily with gratitude. And most importantly, teach yourself to trust your intuition, and remember that nobody knows your body like you do.
