Sex and Intimacy When You're Trying to Conceive

Preconception Sex and Intimacy: How to Keep the Connection When You're Trying to Conceive

Written by team moode | Reviewed June 2026

When you're practising to make a baby, it's not uncommon for the intimacy and spontaneity of sex to simply disappear, paving the way for timed, obligatory sex. Real sexy.

Feeling like the intimacy has gone and a baby isn't even in the picture yet? You're not alone. Many people report that the stress of trying to conceive puts real strain on their relationship and their sex life. The good news: understanding how your body actually works can take some of the pressure off, make conception feel less like a scheduling exercise, and help you stay connected in the process. So let's get down to business and talk about sex, baby. After all, it's one rather big way to make one.

Know your menstrual cycle and your fertile window

Knowing your cycle intimately is one of the most helpful tools you have when you're trying to conceive, mostly because it tells you the best time to have sex. A typical cycle lasts between 28 and 32 days, with ovulation occurring roughly in the middle. Ovulation is the process by which the ovary releases an egg into the fallopian tube, where it can be fertilised by sperm. Track your cycle, and you can predict when you're most likely to ovulate and plan accordingly. (Our guide to ovulation tracking breaks down exactly how.)

When in my cycle am I most likely to get pregnant?

Your fertile window is the stretch of your cycle when you're most likely to conceive. It includes the days leading up to ovulation, plus the day of ovulation itself. Because sperm can survive inside the female reproductive system for up to five days, having sex in the days before ovulation, not just on the day, increases your chances. You can predict ovulation a few ways: tracking basal body temperature, watching for changes in cervical mucus, and using ovulation predictor kits.

Is the missionary position best for conception?

There's no single "best" position for getting pregnant, despite what the internet might tell you. Missionary often gets recommended because it allows for deeper penetration, but the truth is the position matters far less than the timing. The most important factor is simply having regular sex during your fertile window, whatever position you enjoy.

How often should we have sex when trying to conceive?

Regularity matters more than precision-timing a single "perfect" day. There's no magic number, but having sex every two to three days across your cycle is a good rule of thumb, it keeps a steady supply of healthy sperm available without turning the whole thing into a military operation. If you'd rather just go for it more often, that's fine too.

How healthy do I need to be to conceive?

Alongside regular sex, looking after your general health supports your chances. That means maintaining a weight that's healthy for you, eating a balanced diet, moving your body, and easing off the things that work against fertility, like smoking, excess alcohol and recreational drugs. None of this needs to be perfect. Small, sustainable habits beat a frantic overhaul.

There's no surefire way to guarantee pregnancy, but understanding your cycle, having sex through your fertile window, keeping it regular, and supporting your health all stack the odds in your favour. And one last thing worth saying out loud: timed sex can feel stressful and a bit joyless. If it's starting to weigh on you or your relationship, that's worth taking seriously, consider timing a chat with your healthcare practitioner too.

moode answers your questions about preconception sex

How often should you have sex to get pregnant?

Having sex every two to three days throughout your cycle is generally enough to keep a steady supply of sperm available for fertilisation. You don't need to save it up for ovulation day, regular sex across the fertile window is more effective than trying to time one perfect moment.

What is the fertile window?

The fertile window is roughly the six days ending on the day of ovulation. Because sperm can survive up to five days in the female reproductive tract, having sex in the days leading up to ovulation, not only on the day itself, gives you the best chance of conceiving.

Does sex position affect your chances of conceiving?

No strong evidence supports any particular position for conception. Regular, well-timed sex during your fertile window matters far more than position. Choose whatever you and your partner enjoy.

Can the stress of trying to conceive affect your relationship?

Yes. Many couples find that timed, goal-driven sex takes a toll on intimacy and adds pressure. Communicating openly, keeping non-baby-making intimacy alive, and speaking to a healthcare provider or counsellor if it's weighing on you can all help protect your connection.

Can you improve your chances of conceiving naturally?

Yes, to a degree. Tracking your cycle, having regular sex during the fertile window, maintaining a healthy weight, eating well, and reducing smoking and alcohol all support fertility. They don't guarantee conception, but they meaningfully stack the odds in your favour.

A note from moode

Trying to conceive is as much about looking after yourself as it is about timing. A daily prenatal helps lay the nutritional groundwork for pregnancy before it begins. The Prenatal by moode is designed for the preconception window, with calcium folinate, choline, iodine, zinc and a full B complex, in an iron-free, copper-free formulation. Always read the label and follow directions for use.