Baby-Making Sex: A Guide to Timing, Frequency and Conception

The Complete Guide to Baby-Making Sex

Written by Jess Rosenberg, moode founder | Reviewed June 2026

This article is general information, not medical advice. If you've been trying to conceive without success, or have concerns about fertility, speak to your GP or a fertility specialist.

With old wives' tales galore, everyone seems to have an opinion on how to make a baby. But when it comes down to it, conception simply requires one sperm to meet one egg.

Whether through old-fashioned sex or with the help of science, baby-making is simple in theory, even if pregnancy isn't always easy to achieve in practice. Fertility specialists offer a number of general recommendations to support natural conception, and we've laid them out below.

How does conception occur?

Babies are made when two cells (gametes), an egg produced by the woman and sperm produced by the man, join together. For sex to have a chance of resulting in pregnancy, a few things need to be in place:

- Healthy, actively moving sperm

- A healthy egg

- Reproductive organs that are functioning as they should in the person carrying the pregnancy

Get those three working together, at the right time, and conception becomes possible. Now let's talk timing and sex.

How much sperm is needed to fertilise an egg?

Let's talk about the numbers. While it matters that there's enough sperm to improve the odds, quality counts just as much as quantity. The more healthy, active swimmers in the mix, the better the chances of fertilisation.

After ejaculation, mobile sperm travel up toward the fallopian tubes in search of the egg, and many are lost along the way, with only a few hundred of the original millions reaching it. From there, it takes just one sperm to penetrate the egg's outer shell and release its contents inside, fertilising it and starting the process of conception.

There's no exact number required, but a commonly cited benchmark for healthy semen is at least around 20 million sperm per millilitre of ejaculate. It sounds like a lot, but nature builds in a generous surplus to give the process its best shot.

Does the frequency of intercourse affect my chances?

Aimee Lewis of Flow Naturopathy suggests that sex once every other day during the fertile period is plenty, adding that going daily does no harm either. She points to research suggesting that unprotected sex in the couple of days before ovulation gives the highest probability of pregnancy.

There's also a common myth worth busting. As clinical naturopath Leah Hechtman notes, many people assume frequent ejaculation reduces a man's fertility. In fact, a large study of nearly 10,000 men with normal sperm quality found that even daily ejaculation kept sperm within normal range. More importantly, she notes, men who do have issues with low sperm count or poor sperm movement may actually improve their chances by ejaculating more often, even daily. (Confirm Leah is happy to be quoted and named, and confirm/link the study before publishing.)

One important caveat: stress affects reproductive health, so frequency is ultimately best set by what feels right for the couple. Turning sex into a rigid, pressured schedule can work against you. Aim for the fertile window, but keep it human.

Are there sex positions that increase my chances of falling pregnant?

You'll find plenty of contradictory advice here, but the physiology stays the same. Sperm reach the cervical canal within seconds of ejaculation regardless of position, so no position is essential. That said, it's reasonable to give sperm a slightly easier path to the cervix.

The general suggestion is to favour positions that allow deeper penetration, placing sperm as close to the cervix as possible, and to go easy on positions that work directly against gravity. Some people also find a slight pelvic tilt (a pillow under the hips afterward) helpful for keeping things in place. It's worth knowing the hard evidence that any particular position improves conception is limited, so treat these as low-effort, low-risk ideas rather than rules. Comfort and connection matter more than choreography.

Do I need to lie still after sex to increase my chances of pregnancy?

This is one of the most common pieces of advice, and the evidence behind it is mixed. The thinking is that staying relatively still for a little while afterward, rather than getting straight up, may give sperm an easier journey. You don't need to throw your legs in the air. Some experts suggest simply avoiding urinating for around 10 minutes after sex.

It certainly does no harm to relax for a few minutes afterward, so if it feels right, go for it, just don't stress if life means you can't.

Is it safe to use lubricant when trying to conceive?

This one genuinely matters, because it's a common and avoidable pitfall. Many standard lubricants can act as mild contraceptives. By their nature, they can interfere with sperm motility, reducing sperm's ability to move freely and penetrate cervical mucus. So if you use lube while trying to conceive, it pays to know what's in it.

Look for a lubricant that's specifically labelled fertility-friendly or sperm-friendly. Hydroxyethylcellulose-based lubricants are often recommended, as they most closely match the consistency and viscosity of natural cervical mucus and are less likely to disrupt the vagina's pH. Ideally, choose one that's pH-balanced and free of unnecessary additives. Plain water and saliva aren't reliable substitutes either, as both can affect sperm. If in doubt, your pharmacist or GP can point you to a suitable option.

Does having an orgasm support conception?

There's no confirmed link between female orgasm and conception outcomes, so it's certainly not a requirement. That said, some research suggests the female orgasm may play a role in sperm transport, with the muscular contractions that accompany it potentially helping carry sperm further toward the cervix. The (rather pleasant) takeaway: there's no downside to making sure sex stays enjoyable, not just functional, while you're trying.

moode answers your questions about baby-making sex

When is the best time to have sex to conceive?

Your fertile window, the few days leading up to and including ovulation. Research suggests the two days before ovulation offer the highest probability of pregnancy. Sex every other day across the fertile window is plenty, though daily is fine too. Cycle tracking or ovulation tests can help you pinpoint your window.

How often should we have sex when trying to conceive?

Once every other day during the fertile window is generally considered sufficient, and daily does no harm. The key is consistency around ovulation without turning it into a high-pressure schedule, since stress can work against you. Frequency is ultimately best set by what suits you as a couple.

Does ejaculation frequency affect male fertility?

For most men with normal sperm, frequent (even daily) ejaculation keeps sperm within a healthy range. For men with low sperm count or poor sperm movement, more frequent ejaculation may actually help. The old idea that men should "save up" sperm is largely a myth.

Do sex positions matter for conception?

Not as much as folklore suggests. Sperm reach the cervix within seconds regardless of position. Deeper-penetration positions may place sperm a little closer to the cervix, but the evidence that any position improves conception is limited. Comfort matters more.

Can lubricant affect fertility?

Yes. Many standard lubricants can impair sperm movement. If you use lube while trying to conceive, choose one specifically labelled fertility-friendly or sperm-friendly (often hydroxyethylcellulose-based and pH-balanced). Your pharmacist or GP can recommend one.

Do I need to lie down after sex to get pregnant?

It's commonly advised but the evidence is mixed. Relaxing for a few minutes afterward does no harm, but you don't need to elevate your legs, and you shouldn't stress if you can't lie still.

A note from moode

Timing the fun is only one half of the equation, the other is preparing your body for what comes next. Starting a quality prenatal in the months before conception helps build your nutrient stores ahead of time, particularly folate. The Prenatal by moode contains calcium folinate, choline, iodine, zinc and a full B complex, designed for exactly this preconception window. Always read the label and follow directions for use.