When the Age Gap Between Babies Is Bigger Than You Planned
moode speaks with Charlotte Brodie, founder of By Billie, who was 33 weeks pregnant with her second daughter when we sat down to talk. Scout was born on 20 June 2024 - six years after Billie.
The question of when to have another baby rarely gets a straightforward answer. There are the factors you can plan for: finances, career, relationship readiness, housing. And then there are the factors that arrive unannounced and change the timeline entirely.
For Charlotte Brodie, the six-year gap between her daughters was shaped by something she had not anticipated: severe postpartum depression and anxiety after Billie's birth that took four years of twice-weekly therapy, medication and time to move through. The decision to try again only came once she felt genuinely ready - not once the external conditions looked right.
Here is her account of that journey, in her own words.
Did you always know you wanted more than one child?
"In my early twenties I was absolutely obsessed with the thought of becoming a mum - I was just focused on being a mum to at least one child. Looking back, maybe I subconsciously knew it wasn't going to be an easy pathway in those early years."
What shaped the six-year gap between Billie and Scout?
"It took many, many years to feel like I was ready to add to our family. It wasn't an easy parenting journey for both myself and my husband Leith - I suffered from severe postpartum depression and anxiety. It took me over four years of twice-weekly therapy, medication and time to heal before I was ready to fall pregnant again.
Mostly, the wait came down to my mental health. It was super important for me to be mentally strong, with established support networks around me, before adding to our family. The postpartum depression robbed me of my first year of Billie's life - I really don't remember much of it. I was adamant I would not be in that same situation again.
Over the last few years we were also renovating, travelling internationally and both really busy with work. It just didn't feel like the right time. This is why it wasn't until six years after Billie that we decided to add to the family."
How did you and Leith navigate the decision together?
"Getting Leith onboard without pressuring him took a lot of time. We both really wanted Billie to have a sibling - and she wasn't getting any younger. One of the biggest factors for him was the PTSD from seeing his partner go through what I went through in those early years. It took a toll on him, more than I realised at the time, which is why I never wanted to force it.
Be on the same page with your partner. My relationship is so important to me — I'm very aware of how decisions that aren't made together can be really hard to move on from."
How did you know when the time was right?
"I trusted myself that I would know when the time was right. I would feel it.
It's okay to put yourself first. If you are really struggling, work on that before you add another child into the mix. Life is so short and you want to enjoy it and be the best version of yourself."
What are the benefits of a larger age gap?
"There are so many benefits to having six wonderful years of just me and Billie. She has travelled the world, been absolutely spoiled rotten, and it has also been a lot more attainable to run a company while only juggling one child.
Looking back now, I wish I would have been able to have another child a lot closer to my first. Billie is so loved by everyone - she is the only grandchild on both sides - but I do get a little sad when she says she is bored or feels lonely because there are no other kids to play with."
What the research says about sibling age gaps
Every family's situation is different, and Charlotte's story reflects that. But for context, here is what the research broadly suggests:
A gap of 18 months to three years is often cited as the range associated with the strongest sibling bonds in childhood, though the evidence on long-term outcomes is mixed. Gaps of less than 12 months carry a higher risk of maternal depletion - the nutritional and hormonal demands of consecutive pregnancies with insufficient recovery time between them. Gaps of five or more years tend to result in children who develop more independently, with less sibling rivalry but also less shared experience in childhood.
The most important variable, consistently, is maternal mental and physical health going into the next pregnancy. Charlotte's decision to wait until she was genuinely well is not a compromise - it is the most informed choice she could have made for her family.
What to consider before trying for another baby
Your physical recovery. The body needs time to replenish nutrient stores depleted by pregnancy and breastfeeding - particularly iron, folate, choline and zinc. A full blood panel before trying again is worth doing, regardless of how long you have waited. Starting a prenatal supplement three months before trying gives your body time to rebuild.
Your mental health. As Charlotte's experience makes clear, postpartum mental health conditions are serious and their impact extends beyond the woman experiencing them to the whole family. Ensuring you have adequate support, therapeutic resources and a stable foundation before adding to your family is not selfish - it is sensible.
Your relationship. Expanding a family changes relationship dynamics significantly. Charlotte's emphasis on being on the same page with Leith before proceeding is one of the most practical pieces of advice in this conversation.
The Prenatal by moode is formulated for preconception and pregnancy, and is suitable to continue through breastfeeding. Always read the label and follow directions for use.
Charlotte's pregnancy essentials second time around
"Good diet - this time around I have been a lot more mindful of what I eat and drink. I developed preeclampsia with Billie and know that diet can play a huge role in that, so I am trying my best to put my health first.
Prenatal vitamins.
A massage - if I could have one weekly I would.
Comfy bras - my boobs are growing and need support even when sleeping.
A body pillow."
moode answers your questions about sibling age gaps
Is there an ideal age gap between siblings?
Research does not point to a single ideal gap - outcomes depend heavily on individual family circumstances, maternal health and financial factors. The most consistent finding is that gaps of less than 12 months increase the risk of maternal depletion and pregnancy complications. Beyond that, the gap that works best for your specific family is the right one.
How long should I wait after a caesarean before trying again?
Most obstetricians recommend waiting at least 18 months after a caesarean before falling pregnant again, to allow the uterine scar to heal sufficiently. Some recommend 24 months. Discuss with your obstetrician based on your individual surgery and recovery.
How do I know if I am mentally ready for another pregnancy?
There is no universal answer, but meaningful indicators include: feeling like yourself again (rather than still in survival mode), having adequate support structures in place, having addressed any postpartum mental health conditions with professional support, and genuinely wanting another child rather than feeling pressured by external timelines.
Does postpartum depression affect future pregnancies?
Having experienced postpartum depression or anxiety significantly increases the risk of experiencing it again in a subsequent pregnancy or postpartum period. This is not a reason to avoid having another child - but it is a reason to have a proactive mental health plan in place before and during the next pregnancy, including telling your midwife or obstetrician about your history at the earliest opportunity.
How do I start the conversation with my partner about having another baby?
Charlotte's advice is simple: be on the same page. That means having the conversation before either of you has made up your mind - not presenting a decision for ratification. Understanding what each of you is concerned about, what you need, and what the timeline looks like for both of you is the starting point.
Charlotte Brodie is the founder of By Billie, an Australian children's lifestyle brand. Her daughter Scout was born in June 2024.
